The Drunken Captain
by Madame Thea
Summary: A Sparrow One Shot that I wrote recently... Extreme smut...Jack visits an old friend from his past


**Okay so me and my friend write One Shots for each other for entertainment, so I figured that I'd post them! This is my third and if I say so my best so far! Again all female characters are based off my friend**

Lydia was behind the counter of the bar, wiping up the spilled ale and rum left behind from her drunken guests, she would much rather have taken up one of those prostitute jobs. Getting paid to lay men did sound like more fun. As she watched one of her waitresses walk by another table littered with ugly men, one of them squeezed her ass as she walked by. "How 'bout another round sweet'eart?" He said grossly, wagging his eyebrows, or rather eyebrow, at her. The girl turned to Lydia, her eyes pleading for her to throw this man out.

"Touch anyone again and I'll sic the boys on ya!" She fairly shouted, snatching up her skirts and jumping over the bar, stomping over to the table. That was more than once that bastard had grabbed one of her girls. "Just a little fun." He said dully. She growled, "Watch your manners, boy. Or I'll have you flogged by the boys out back. See?" She questioned, and turned before the man could respond, walking away with the timid waitress. The man grabbed her arm roughly and yanked her back, making her fall into another waitress, and now she was soaked in rum. "Now that's no way to treat a payin' customer." He flashed all of his three teeth, obviously this man always picked the wrong fights. "You take your hands off of me!" Lydia yanked her arm away from him, and slapped him hard against his ugly face. The man clutched his cheek and the growled in anger, striking Lydia hard on the mouth, making her fall to the ground in her rum soaked dress.

She stood as soon as she fell, standing her ground against the drunken man. Blood trickled from the corner of her mouth, and she sneered, about to put the man on the ground, but then she heard a gun shot as a bullet whizzed past her ear, and sunk into the mans groin. Lydia turned quickly to see who fired, ignoring the screams of pain coming from the dumb bastard on the floor. "Cap'n Jack Sparrow!" Lydia exclaimed as she set her hands on her hips. The silhouette of the staggering pirate in the doorway of her tavern was a welcoming sight.

Lydia waved for her boys to take the wounded man away and they quickly obliged. "Lydia, darling." The Captain drawled, flashing his golden teeth at her. He smelled like sea water, old rum, and musty hay, but it was a beautiful scent to her. "It's been quite a while since you last walked through my door." She smiled brightly, remembering their last encounter made her feel all warm inside.

"That it has, my dear." He walked up beside her, holstering his pistol, and setting his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. Lydia laughed and shoved his arm off, walking back to the bar and sliding over to the other side. "So what brings you to Tortuga?" She asked, pouring him a drink as the regular noise and merriment continued around them.

The Captain took his rum quickly, licking his lips, his mustache had a dash of alcohol in it, making it shine in the dim candlelight of the tavern. "Why I came to this fine island, you see, is because I happen to need a ship of sorts." He said, taking another drink. Lydia nodded, knowing the struggle of their folk to get good sails when the British were lurking in every dark corner of the Caribbean.

"Tough times to be lookin' for a ship, Jack. Those British bastards are prowling everywhere." Lydia said, pouring herself a tankard of ale. "Aye," he agreed, taking on another pint of rum, seeming a little more tipsy than normal. "I bet I could take them when I get me-self a ship." Lydia just laughed. Several pints later had Jack seeing stars, and rambling nonsense.

She walked around the bar and set a hand on his shoulder. "So were you lookin' for a room, Jack?" She asked, helping him sit up on his stool. "Came to see you, darling." He said, grinning widely.

"Oh how charming." Lydia scoffed, helping the drunk Captain to the spare room. He mumbled on the way there, and as she laid him down, he sprung up like a rabbit. "Did I ever tell you that I think you're the most ravishing piece of woman in the Caribbean?" He drawled, blowing his breath all over Lydia's face, since they were only about two inches apart. "You reek." She laughed, pinching her freckled nose in disgust. Jack just threw back his head and laughed loudly, but he didn't have any time to draw more breath before Lydia was on top of him, her lips pressed firmly and dominantly against his own.

Lydia shoved him against the wall nearest the bed, and began to remove his shirt, which he helped with, to reveal his muscular chest, which was splashed with a thin layer of black hair, as was his back. His chest hair trailed down his stomach, thinned near his navel, and spread out once it disappeared behind the fabric of his trousers. "Come on then." He flashed her that toothy grin, drunk beyond all measure. And she knew then that she would have him there all of the next day, having to nurse his massive hangover that was sure to come.

Lydia obeyed nicely, and began to rake her fingers down his back as he helped himself to her neck. He nibbled up and down the sides of her neck, and made his way up to her ear, where he kissed and sucked on her earlobe. Then he fairly fell on top of her as he laid her down to have her back rest against the headboard of the bed.

There he clumsily straddled her legs, pushing the half hard bulge of his trousers up towards her slightly heated core. He gently kissed the top of each of her well sized breasts, reveling in their perfect size. He began to unlace the corset that held her dress on, but a drunken man would never be able to undo the complications of a woman's garments. Not even a sober man would be compatible for such a task.

So Lydia decided to gently guide his hands to unweave the laces of her corset, but much to Lydia's surprise, she soon had the snoring, drunken head of Captain Sparrow, buried in her breasts. "Oi! Wake up, you bastard!" She yelled at him. "I was not finished with you." Her patience was now wearing thin on this man that she hadn't seen in some months.

Jack woke abruptly at her yelling, waking up to face planted into a woman's chest was probably just how he preferred to awaken. "Well that is a welcoming sight." He sighed, and set his head back down, but Lydia picked his head back up again, looking at him as if he were a misbehaving child. "You have to finish what you started." She coaxed, bucking her hips up to meet his, which gave him the jolt of energy he needed, so he was quickly back into action, and soon had her corset off. All that stood between his bare chest and hers, were her undergarments, which would just slide off easily. But even drunken Captain Jack Sparrow knew how to please any woman.

He forcibly slid two fingers into the depths of her, smiling as she was tight around him, and moaned with a mixture of pleasure and pain. "Hurt?" He asked, still a little dumb from the alcohol. "It has been a while." She said, taking a few sharp breaths, and maintaining her cool before he began to move inside her again. She began to press her hips into his hand, the tips of his long, slender fingers were hitting the sweet spot every time, without fail.

Just as she was near her orgasm, Jack pulled out, making her groan in annoyance and throw her head back. She grabbed his dreadlocks and pulled his face to hers in a heated kiss, her tongue sliding in and out of his mouth sensually. She loved the taste of the rum in his mouth, so she began licking the roof and sides of his mouth, smiling into their kiss as he moaned. She also found the metallic taste of his teeth very satisfying and stayed there for a moment, but soon she moved. Now she was on top and could do as she pleased, which she liked very much.

She quickly discarded his trousers and the rest of her undergarments, she looked down at his bulging member, just as she had remembered, she smiled. Taking it in her hands, he jumped from his sleepy daze and groaned as she ran her hands up and down his cock, being able to get all kinds of erotic noises from him. He had always said that she was his best, and he had been her first, so it was only right that they should be together.

As soon as he was hard enough, Lydia gently pressed at the head of his member gently with her entrance, making sure he was paying attention, a buck of his hips assured her of that, and so she began riding him. This was her favorite position, having control over a man that normally wouldn't submit to anyone made her feel very powerful, and she liked power very much. With a devilish smile, she sunk onto him hard, and he pushed hard against her, their hips collided in one swift motion, and they both collectively moaned in satisfaction.

Lydia began at a steady pace to get the rhythm back, but soon she was moving at an almost frenzied pace, extremely quick, pounding herself onto him. They were both panting heavily, and the noises that were slipping from Lydia's lips made Jack hop his hips even faster and more wild. As his cock reached that little bundle of nerves deep in her depths, her breath hitched and her pace slowed, but soon she picked it up again, riding out her own orgasm for his sake. She tightened around him and cried out very loudly, and even though she wanted nothing but to lay down and curl up into a ball, she kept riding him extremely hard until he exploded inside of her. She never knew that it got better after orgasm, like a little hidden treat that she had never experienced before, and it was beautiful.

As they lay naked in each others arms, Lydia turned to face a sleeping Jack, and kissing the bridge of his nose, she whispered. "You still reek."


End file.
